


One More Time

by AnnyGomez



Category: (여자)아이들 | (G)I-DLE
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:40:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,662
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29286948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnnyGomez/pseuds/AnnyGomez
Summary: ‘Their love blossomed in autumn and ended by Winter.’In which 10 years have passed since highschool sweethearts Yeh Shuhua and Seo Soojin broke up on bad terms.Continuation of The Thin Line Between Love and Hate.
Relationships: Cho Miyeon/Minnie Nicha Yontararak, Jeon Soyeon/Song Yuqi, Seo Soojin/Yeh Shuhua
Comments: 70
Kudos: 215





	1. Chapter 1

**South Korea, 2028.**

**December 20. 18:30**

  
  


_ Shuhua, _

_ It’s been a while since we’ve talked with each other, or at least it’s been a while since you’ve replied to any of my emails. I know you’ve been busy with the whole acting and stuff but I hope you would still try to keep in touch, I want to hear about you from you and not from Yuqi on quick phone calls.  _

_ Speaking of Yuqi, she told me you’ve been in your overworking mode again and I thought we had talked about this in our last emails, you should rest more. I know your job is important and you want to grow as an actress but please focus on your health, you always end up ignoring it when you get too focused and that always ends with you getting sick.  _

_ I hope you’ll take better care of yourself, and I’m sorry I can’t be there to take care of you- _

“Minnie” She turned around to see Miyeon standing by the door frame carrying a few books as she walked into the room placing them on the bookshelf. She has been reading a lot lately now that she has so much free time at home. “What are you doing?” She asked, with a smile and Minnie scratched the back of her head as she looked at her laptop then back at her wife.

“Just sending a few emails” She replied. “To Shuhua” She then added, knowing Miyeon would get upset, especially by the way her eyebrows frown so slightly and the corner of her lips twitch, her displeasure was clear but she didn’t say anything and she didn’t need to. “Hey-”

“I didn’t say anything”

“You don’t need to, I can see it in your face”

“Well, I’m sorry I don’t like that you keep in touch with the girl who has a crush on you”

“That was in high school, please let it go, and you know she fell in love with-”

“Let’s not talk about that anymore,” Miyeon finally said. “I don’t want to argue right now,” She said. "And I don't want her to hear us fighting"

Minnie could only nod as she turned around and quickly started to type again.

_ Anyways, reply to this as soon as you can, it’s the end of the year and I hope to get news from you before christmas. Stay healthy. _

_ Your friend, _

_ Minnie. _

  
  


x--------------------×-------------------x

  
  


She got the tragic news around seven in the morning on the first day of January, after breakfast in what was supposed to be a fresh new start for her family; The cold winds of Winter seemed to only serve to make the news of Mrs. Yeh’s passing hurt even more. Minnie got the news from Yuqi, who was still sniffing and sobbing on the phone while Minnie tried to make sense of what she just heard, Miyeon’s worried gaze fixed on her as she noticed her wife’s silence.

“She was fine, I talked to her last week and then, then-” Yuqi tried to speak on the other side of the phone, but words wouldn’t come out, they never did in those moments. 

“I know… I know,” The older replied, lacking the words to comfort the younger. “What about Shuhua? How is she?”

"She's locked up in her office" There's anger in the chinese woman's voice. "She told me she had work to do, I didn't see a single tear in her eyes" Yuqi said, deep inside she wanted to go upstairs and storm into that office and try to smack some sense into Shuhua, but it was for the best to deal with things once she was calm; Last thing she should to is provoke her friend in this situation. 

As she heard that, Minnie wasn't surprised, If anything she was expecting a reaction like that from Shuhua. Pull up your barriers, study the situation and then act, It was her usual pattern to deal with this without showing how she really felt and she knows how much that upsets Yuqi who was used to have her open and expressive best friend who would show what she felt, and now this one Shuhua who kept everything inside.

She wished Soojin was here to guide her again like she always did. 

“We’re coming back to South Korea,” She heard Yuqi say on the phone as she tries to control her tears. “She wanted to be buried there”

Minnie could only hum in agreement, she understood those wishes, the woman spent most of her life here, raising her only child, and she could see why she was more attached to South Korea than China, there were just too many memories in here to be ignored like that.

Once they said their goodbyes and finish the call, The thai turns to her wife who was still sitting by the table waiting for Minnie to say whatever had happened in the phone, the woman took a deep breath knowing that those news would affect Miyeon a lot, despite how she felt about Shuhua nowadays. 

"Love...It's about Mrs. Yeh"

  
  


x--------------------×-------------------x

  
  


**South Korea, 2029.**

**January 06.**

  
  


"Okay everyone, This is everything for today!" Seo Soojin claps as she looks to her class as they politely bow and say their goodbyes to the woman before moving to the benches on the side to pick up their bags before leaving. "Don't forget to keep practicing" She said as they leave one by one, protected from the cold wind outside with their thick coats. "Eun, you need to become more fluid before your performance"

"Yes, Noona. I'll work hard!" A young boy says before leaving along with his friends and so she was alone in the studio, surrounded by mirrors, winter always seemed to be colder around this time of the year for her, maybe it was the memories that the date brings back to her. 

One could say Seo Soojin was a successful dancer, she had her own studio and there was always new work offers every new week, her schedule is always busy and she couldn't bring herself to complain, she loved the feeling of having something to do, and doing what she loved with the support of her family and friends. 

She started to pick her clothes and dress up again before her eyes fell on the still christmas themed calendar on the wall that Soyeon gave her in the previous month.

It was January 6.

' _ happy birthday _ ' She thought before she could stop herself and with a heavy sigh she pulled the zipper of her jacket all the way up before turning to leave however she was surprised by someone knocking at the door before opening. 

"Hello…?" He looks around. "Oh!" The man says once he spots Soojin alone in the studio. "Hey, I've come to pick you up." He lifted the plastic bag he was carrying. "I bought us dinner too. It's chicken"

"You didn't have to, Hui" She said, walking towards him with a smile, and he smiled back before opening the door for her. 

"You haven't been eating properly lately, Soyeon told me."He said, offering his arm to her, which she accepted. "Which is a concern because you never skip meals" Hui was the type to worry easily, always wanting to make sure everyone around him was alright despite not knowing how to make things better most of the time, Soojin appreciates that he still tried even when he didn't have a clue.

"I haven't been feeling that hungry lately" Soojin said as they finally walk out of the studio and there's a chill down her spine once they're hit with a strong, cold wind before starting to walk away; Her words had the man worried.

"You should go see a doctor" 

"I'm not sick, It's just…" January is the month of a reminder, like a crack in a porcelain cup, always there to remind you something was wrong and that can't be fixed anymore; January is the month where everything reminded Soojin of  _ her _ , and what they had and what they lost. "I'm just not sick, don't worry about it" She finally said as they turned around the corner.

Hui shakes his head and sighes, part of him knew her reasons but still couldn't quite understand, not after so long.

"I'll trust your judgement"

"Thank you"

The snow and ice that once covered the sidewalks and the streets was starting to melt as the season was only a month away from ending, it was still cold and covering up a lot was recommended despite the bright sunlight that never went away, they didn't live too far away from the studio since Soojin wanted to be able to just walk to work and back home without having to worry about a traffic and after a lot of planning Hui was able to find them an apartment that was close not only to her studio but to his job as well.

Hui was currently working on a pet shop despite his wishes to become a singer, and as much one could say you should chase your dreams the reality is that the bills won't wait until your dreams become true so he had to work with what he got, Soojin didn't think it was that bad as every time he comes back home his phone is filled with pictures of cute dogs and cats.

"Hey!" It's the first thing they heard as they walked into the apartment and saw Soyeon by the living room, sitting on the couch with the laptop on her lap, despite the greeting her eyes didn't move from the screen as she seemed to be working hard on something. "How was work?"

"The usual" Soojin said as she made her way to the couch and sat next to Soyeon as Hui walked straight to the kitchen. "They are far more energetic now, more than me"

"It's the age catching up to you" Soyeon joked and then laughed when Soojin pushed her away playfully.

"We're the same age!" 

"No, You're months older" Soyeon argued before focusing on her work again, Soyeon have been living with them for a few months now after finally deciding to quit her job as a teacher to become a producer instead, her parents still refused to talk to her because of that decision but things have been working out good for her. 

"Soojin, your phone is ringing" She heard Hui call from the kitchen and she quickly stood up to go grab it, wondering who would call right now, her circle of friends was still just as small as it was in high school; She entered the kitchen and saw Hui point at her purse with this chin as his hands were busy making a salad, he was oddly into healthy life these days. Much to Soyeon's distress.

The woman picked it up, despite being worried about it being an unknown number. "Hello?"

"Seo Soojin, Why do you have social media if you don't read your DMs?" She heard the voice coming from the other side and frowns. "I have been trying to contact you for the past few days until I managed to ask your sister for your number"

"Miyeon-Unnie?" She looks at Hui and watches as he quietly mouths 'highschool Miyeon?' and she nods to him. "Sorry, I got a new phone and forgot to save your number, what happened?" She asked, moving back to the living room and sitting back next to Soyeon. 

"Well-" The house phone started to ring and the woman looked at Soyeon who rolled her eyes as she placed her laptop aside and stood up, muttering a quick 'got it' as she walked towards it to pick it up. "I called because I knew you probably wouldn't like Minnie calling-"

"You know I have no hard feelings against her, it's just-" Soojin stops herself, how was she supposed to explain it anyways? Was she just supposed to tell Miyeon she can't look at her wife without feeling the inadequacy creep it's way into her chest at the thought that there was something Minnie had that she didn't and how she would always feel like an insecure teenager next to her? "Anyways, did something happen?" She finally asked. 

"Yes, hm… are you sitting?" Miyeon asked and that definitely made Soojin worried.

"Yes, I am. Why-" 

" _ Why are you calling me?! _ " She heard Soyeon say on the phone, obviously upset, which had Soojin not understanding anything. " _ How did you even get this number? _ !"

Miyeon must have heard Soyeon's annoyance from the other side cause she heard the woman mutter 'ah dammit' under her breath which quickly had Soojin paying attention to the call once again.

"What 's going on, Unnie?"

"Mrs. Yeh has passed away" Miyeon finally said, not wanting to delay this any further, the words had Soojin frozen in place, trying to process the words. "They'll be burying her in South Korea, it was one of her wishes" 

Soojin glances at the calendar on top of the fireplace as she let Miyeon's words sink in. It's January 6. Her ears are now ignoring whoever Soyeon was arguing with on the phone while Hui looked at the both of them in confusion, not knowing who he should question first. 

"I was going to ask if you're going to attend the funeral" She heard Miyeon ask, yet she was able to detect the worry in her voice, still not sure how that would affect Soojin.

She still could clearly remember Mrs. Yeh in the back of her head, in the kitchen in the old Yeh household cooking something with this gentle smile on her lips as she accepted Soojin's help with the food, the memory was so clear she could almost smell the fresh cookies she was making; She also could remember a certain Taiwanesse watching them by the door frame of the kitchen with her arms crossed and smiling. 

She was a good woman despite Shuhua's complaints, but now she was gone and it's January. 

' _ This isn't how you're supposed to celebrate your birthday _ ' It's all she could think. 

"Yes, I... We will attend" She eventually replied, as she was starting to be aware of her surroundings now. "I'll talk to Soyeon now" She warned as they said their goodbyes and finished the call, Soojin stood up and made her way to the kitchen and stopping by the door frame as she watched Soyeon chopping some tomatoes like it was someone's head, her eyes go to Hui who was in the corner of the kitchen as if asking him why he gave her a knife as he just motioned at Soyeon as if it was enough answer. "You seem upset," She said to her friend, watching as she took out her frustration on the poor fruit.

"Wanna know who called?"

"Song Yuqi-"

"Song Yuqi- Wait, how do you even know?" The woman asked, finally stopping with the chopping and staring at Soojin. "How does she even have our number?"

"Minnie probably gave it to her, and I'm assuming you were too pissed off to let her talk. Right?"

"Pissed off is a light word" She heard Hui finally said, coming closer enough to keep the knife away from Soyeon. "I had to stop her from throwing the phone out of the window after she said she would take Yuqi on a trip"

Soojin sighes. "You should've let her speak"

"You cannot judge me," Soyeon pointed out. "You would do the same thing if it was-"

"The thing is, she had a reason to call" Soojin interrupted, knowing full well what Soyeon was going to say and she would rather not think about her right now. "Mrs. Yeh passed away a few days ago" Soyeon seemed in shock by the news, she knew that her friend was most likely thinking the same as she was earlier, wondering how Shuhua was but also probably feeling bad for yelling at Yuqi, who's already grieving, before but she still had her reasons, the both of them did. "Miyeon-Unnie called to ask if we're going to attend the funeral and I said yes… If you don't mind"

Soyeon seemed calmer now. "Of course I don't… Minnie and Miyeon will be there right?" Soojin nods, then the kitchen is filled with silence before the woman sighed, suddenly feeling tired as if there was a huge weight on her shoulders and the other two noticed that.

"I think I'll go to bed early" It's all she said, before making her way to her room, Neither Soyeon or Hui tried to stop her, they knew that the news was a lot for her right now and Soyeon knew what going to this funeral meant to Soojin, It's was going to be yet another reminder.

  
  


x--------------------×-------------------x

  
  


The cemetery was filled with people they never saw before and it didn't take long to realize that they must have formed lots of new connections once they arrived in China, especially after living there for so long; There was a lot of chinese speaking going on and Soojin could only understand one or two words from the few times Shuhua had tried to teach her back in high school or when she got passionate about something to the point of switching languages and then having to translate herself to the older, But right now, in the middle of the sea of chinese people in their black suits, it was relieved for her and Soyeon to spot Minnie and Miyeon, and of course, she couldn't forget to mention little Minji who was currently being scolded by Miyeon who was trying her best to fix the little ribbons on her hair. 

"This is boring, Mommy" She heard the girl say as they approached the couple and Soojin almost laughed at her honesty but Miyeon didn't seem to find it funny as she pinched her cheek. 

"Don't say that-"

"She's six, Miyeon. She doesn't understand funerals yet" Minnie said, defending her baby before she notices Soojin and Soyeon approaching them. "Oh, Hello" Miyeon quickly stood up once she saw them.

"Aunt Soojin!" Minji said and Soojin laughed before crouching in front of her, holding her hand up for a high five, Soyeon gasps.

"What about me? I'm aunt too" She complained and Minji looked at Minnie who Soojin saw make a  _ 'shh'  _ gesture to the little girl but if there was something Soojin knows is that children don't care about being subtle.

"Mama said you're baby sized, you can't be aunt"

"Your mama is lucky this is a funeral and I can't say what I think" It's all Soyeon said as she poked the little girl's cheek who laughs before holding onto Minnie’s leg who just pats her head as she smiles softly at the kid. 

Around 6 or 7 years ago, when Minnie and Miyeon announced they wanted a child and would be happy either having their own or adopting one, Soojin was against it knowing they were too young and barely got married, She was being logical and having a child when Minnie wasn't even well established lawyer didn't sound like a good idea even with all the money that comes from her family; She remembers how that was the first time she ever argued with Miyeon. 

Maybe she was bitter, or just jealous that they're forming a family and there she was, stuck in the past and thinking about what she could have, but Soojin also remembers the first time she met and held little Minji for the first time and how all of her dark thoughts went away, she liked the kid despite still thinking Miyeon and Minnie were too young, but still helped and hoped they were doing the right thing, and now there she was fighting with Soyeon over who was the best aunt and always trying to outdo one another with birthday gifts which always end up with Miyeon scolding them for exaggerating, and spoiling her child too much. 

Who would think she would be such a strict mom?

"How are things?" Her question is mostly directed to Miyeon, but when the woman shrugs, Minnie fills in the silence. 

"Lazy days are what we have," She said. "I didn't have any new clients the past few weeks so we have been enjoying family time a lot"

"This place is feeling a lot like a business meeting," Soyeon said, looking around. "I doubt most of them even knew Mrs. Yeh"

Miyeon nodded. "They didn't, but they know… The daughter" Soojin is quick to notice the way the corners of Miyeon's mouth go down in annoyance at the mention of Shuhua and how Minnie looks away. "I guess they wanna pretend to care to get on her good side"

"Yuqi made a lot of friends and connections in China," Minnie said. "All of her shows have a lot of sponsors and so does Shuhua"

Yuqi actually followed Soyeon's suggestion of trying for TV, and with her charisma and bubbly personality it didn't take long for success to come as an entertainer and for her name to be well known in the industry, She knew that from the few times she visited Miyeon and Minnie and saw Minji in front of the TV watching Yuqi and 'replying' to her questions, It was quite adorable to see the little girl go 'yes aunt Yuqi!' to the TV, But Soojin noticed how the mention of the chinese woman's name made Soyeon cross her arms and look away. 

There was a bit of a commotion that kept their conversation from continuing and from where they stood they could see the black car parking in front of the cemetery's big gate and the three women coming out of it; Soojin hated to admit how she could recognize Shuhua anywhere, in any way; She always stood out for her like she walked around with her own spotlight, maybe it was her breathtaking beauty or she was so attached to her that her eyes immediately knew where to look, and there she was looking as flawless as always. 

She always loved her eyes, her gaze and how it could shift into gentle to cold in a second, it was attractive but right now they are covered by sunglasses. She was able to recognize Yuqi next to her, her hair was dyed black as she probably didn't want to show up at a funeral with her bright orange hair from before, despite what others would think the younger was very respectful of others and judging by the way how puffy and red her eyes were she could tell Yuqi spent the past days crying non-stop; It was understandable, Mrs. Yeh was like a mother to her, more than her own biological mother.

She did not recognize the third woman, who was walking next to Shuhua, She looked older than Yuqi and Shuhua and she also wore sunglasses, having one of her arms wrapped around the taiwanesse's shoulders as she guides her all the way inside, The bodyguards that came out of the others cars making sure to keep the obnoxious paparazzi standing by the entrance far away, They were speaking to each other casually before people started to come to talk to her, shaking hands and saying whatever. Soojin couldn't help herself from looking annoyed, this was a funeral not a meet n greet or some kind of business meeting. 

"Who is that?" Soyeon asked the question that was in her mind, pointing with her chin towards the older woman walking alongside Shuhua and Yuqi once they're done with the greetings, She couldn't see Shuhua's eyes but knew from the way her lips moved as she spoke that she wasn't very happy with the situation. 

"Mhm. I wouldn't know, Shuhua barely keeps in touch and Yuqi-" Minnie sighes. "She doesn't tell me much either" They are always busy with work so they never really have time to talk much, most of the texts she sends Yuqi are usually left on read until her monthly emails updating her about them. "So I don't really know who they hang out with nowadays" 

Soojin kept looking at Shuhua, with her black trench coat as she made her way across the people, She looked in her direction once Yuqi leaned forward to say something at her ear and the older felt her heart racing, She couldn't see her eyes but she could feel her stare or maybe she was just being delusional and hoping Shuhua was looking at her; Then she started to make her way towards them followed by Yuqi and Soojin quickly grabbed Soyeon's wrist once she realized the other was planning to walk away and avoid the chinese woman but if Soojin had to interact with Shuhua, then Soyeon will do the same with Yuqi. 

"I'm glad you guys could make it" Yuqi is the first to break the ice, as expected and Soojin is glad to see her, it's the first time she hears her voice in person after so many years, her voice sounded just as deep as she remembered and that made the woman smile.

"Hello" It's all Shuhua said right after. "Thank you for coming, she would be happy'' There was no emotion in her voice, like a line practiced over and over until it loses its meaning, Soojin felt like she has been saying that to others a lot all the way here, Minnie was the first one to approach the Taiwanesse and with a gentle smile she held her face on her hands before hugging the other tightly; Back in high school, despite Shuhua being taller than her there was still a gap between her and Minnie that always made the younger look cuter next to the Thai, but right now she notices both were the same height. She watches the way Shuhua hugs Minnie back and tries to ignore the way her heart shrinks inside her chest but one glance at Miyeon's frown is enough for her to realize she's not the only one feeling this. 

Then Shuhua spotted the little girl standing behind Minnie so she quickly ended the hug before crouching before her with a smile, and Soojin smiled too before she could stop herself, Minji was quick to give Shuhua a hug and the woman giggled.

"Woah, You're bigger than the last time I saw you" Shuhua pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head and Soojin expected her eyes to be red and puffy, but they looked as normal as can be, no signs of crying. "What is your mama feeding you?" She asked, poking her nose. 

"Aunt Shu, Do you have any gifts?" Minnie laughs at the question.

"Minji!" Miyeon reprimanded, that wasn't the most polite thing to ask in this situation especially to Shuhua of all people.

"It's ok, Miyeon'' Shuhua replied. "After this I'll buy anything you want, ok?" Minji nods, excited she'll get a new toy, Then Shuhua stood up and looked at the group again and for the first time her eyes fell on Soojin, but she didn't say anything nor looked like she wanted to say anything, it was like she was just another person in the place and the woman couldn't lie and tell herself that it didn't hurt a little. "I'll be going now, I have people to talk to'' She turned to Yuqi. " _ No need to come with me, catch up with them _ " She said, in their mother tongue but not before waving at little Minji who was now on Miyeon's lap; Soojin's eyes are still focused on Shuhua as she walks away, sunglasses now covering her eyes again as she talks with some people in their obviously expensive suits, the woman from before right next to her once again being an active participant of the conversations. 

"How about you, Soojin?" She snaps out of her thoughts by the sound of Yuqi's voice, It used to be bubbly and full of energy despite how deep it was, but right now it felt like she was tired and dragging her words, unlike Shuhua, her eyes were red. "I heard you're a dancer now" She then added, as if she knew the woman wasn't paying attention to the conversation and instead had all of her focus on Shuhua. 

"I have my own studio now" Soojin replied with a timid smile and Yuqi nods to encourage her to keep going. "Classes are always full and it seems I have a new job opportunity soon" She added and Yuqi nodded once again.

"I'm glad all of you are doing well," Yuqi said and Soojin could tell her eyes were focused on Soyeon, who was still looking in the opposite direction as if she would be invisible if she just didn't look at the chinese woman, but Soojin couldn’t exactly judge her. Then their conversation was interrupted by the snowflakes dropping, just in time for all people around to be called to go inside so they could proceed with the funeral, Soojin tried to look for Shuhua again with no success.

It was snowing when they watched the coffin be buried, Soojin thought this was some sick joke as her minds decides to remind her that Mrs. Yeh loved winter and snow, her eyes are on Shuhua again, a habit that seemed to stick with her since high school and was now back at full force once she had the taiwanesse so close to her. The woman’s lips are pressed in a thin line as her eyes were hidden by the sunglasses, Yuqi was next to her trying her best to keep her tears for herself, her hand had a firm grip on the sleeve of Shuhua’s coat who pats said hand with her free hand, it was quick but it was her way of comforting her best friend.

Soojin didn’t think she would cry at the funeral, part of her thought that it’s been so long since she saw Mrs. Yeh that she would have no attachments anymore, but as the coffin was bit by bit covered by the soil and snow, she felt her eyes burn as her tears started to drop, thankfully Minnie was quick to offer her a handkerchief so she could dry her tears; Then she noticed Shuhua looking in her direction, but she didn’t try to look away once Soojin looked back; There was just something different about this Shuhua, which was expected since it’s been so long but she never expected such a drastic change and her mind wanted to wonder what happened, how life had been for her since they went separate ways ten years ago? Was she happy? Soojin felt like it was hard to breathe for a second as the question came into her mind so suddenly. Was there someone waiting for her back in China? She would rather not think about it.

Once the burying was done, lots of people started to leave one by one, especially as the snowflakes dropping started to increase but, as Soojin walks away with Soyeon she notices Shuhua standing where she was for the past minutes, staring at her mother's grave without doing anything, she still wasn't crying, she just stood there and looked at it, taking it all in until the older saw the woman from before approach her and touch her shoulder before she took her away from the place.

  
  


x--------------------×-------------------x

  
  


Shuhua bought an apartment before their arrival to South Korea, it was a nice place to stay for a few weeks before they were ready to come back to China to their usual schedules, The place was big and with a nice view that Yuqi thought she would enjoy a lot if it wasn't for the current situation. They entered the place in complete silence and while Shuhua placed her coat over the hanger, Yuqi placed her keys to the side and watched as the younger took her shoes off, so she started to do the same.

"Before we left, I talked with Minnie" Yuqi started, now taking off her own coat. "She thinks it will be good if we go out together, get to know the city again" 

"I have a script to practice and another to write" Shuhua replied, standing up and holding her shoes on her hands as she moved towards the staircase, Yuqi followed right behind not wanting to give up so soon and knowing that if it was up to Shuhua she would spend the following months locked up in her office. 

"You can take a break, we could go out. You promised Minji to buy her a gift" She said, holding the other's hand to keep her from going upstairs. Shuhua turned to look at her.

"I can send her a gift in the mail." 

"Shuhua-"

The Taiwanesse pulled her hand from Yuqi's hand. "I have work to do'' It's all she said before making her way upstairs and leaving Yuqi alone by the staircase. The chinese woman sighs as she sits on the stairs and thinks back on the old and better days where everything was far much better, back when Shuhua's lies didn't catch up to her and destroyed everything they had. Now they gotta live the consequences of it, even years later and Yuqi can't help but feel tired. 

She stood up and went to the living room and looked out the window, staring at the city, the buildings and cars down the street driving away, she smiled as she thought back of Soyeon as they stood by the porch of her house, eating ice cream together and watched the cars pass by; Part of her wanted to blame Shuhua for what she lost but she knew that deep down she was as much of a liar than the taiwanesse, maybe if she was honest with Soyeon since day one then so much could've been avoided and they could've been happier now, maybe even like Minnie and Miyeon are despite being the main reason all this mess happened. 

She took her cigarettes out of her pocket alongside the lighter and quick lit one before placing it between her lips with a tired sigh, staring out the window again as the sun started to go down as well as a new wave of snowflakes started to drop once again.

Winter never felt so cold. 

  
  


x--------------------×-------------------x

  
  


The morning came quicker than expected and soon enough the sunlight invaded Shuhua's office who had fallen asleep on top of her desk, piles of papers all around her after spending the whole night reading and writing, keeping everything else locked out from her mind and her heart before it drove her crazy; Once the light hit her face through the curtain's gap, the taiwanesse slowly opened her eyes as she looks around before realizing she fell asleep while working, which had become an habit for a while now; Rubbing her eyes as she grunts, Shuhua stood up from her chair, body complaining from sleeping in such a bad position but then decided to ignore it and just go downstairs to have some coffee before coming back to keep on working again. 

A few years ago, the idea of having coffee so early in the morning would make younger Yeh Shuhua stick her tongue out in disgust and claiming that's for old people who are bitter with their life, thinking back at what her old self would think of her now made Shuhua chuckle to herself as she moves downstairs, hoping to avoid Yuqi and any of her lectures only to find the woman sleeping on the couch in the living room, completely unbothered by the sunlight coming from the giant window in the room, Shuhua noticed the bottle on the floor next to her hand and the unlit cigarette on her lips and she quickly went up to the older. 

"Yuqi" She called, shaking her shoulder. "Hey, Wake up" She slapped her face, maybe a bit too hard but it was enough to get the other to quickly wake up, placing one hand against her cheek in confusion for being slapped out of nowhere.

"Are you crazy? Why did you hit me?" She complained, looking around. "What time is it?" 

Shuhua grabbed the cigarette hanging from her lips and held it in front of Yuqi's face with a serious look in her eyes. 

"I thought you said you quit"

"You're the last person who can tell me how to be healthy"

"At least my lungs will work longer than yours" 

"Same can't be said for your heart" Yuqi argued while Shuhua stood up, taking the cigarettes with her to throw it away and ignoring the Chinese woman standing up and following her to the kitchen. "You're gonna die from a heart attack out of stress and I'll have to get you to the hospital-"

"You did that with my dad, You have some experience" Shuhua said, throwing the cigarettes in the trash can once they're in the kitchen. Yuqi crossed her arms.

"You've turned into such an asshole!" 

"Leave then!" 

They didn't know where this convo was going and wouldn't find out so soon as they heard someone cough and quickly looked at the door frame of the room, noticing the woman standing still there with her purse in her hands and a black dress, She quickly pushed her sunglasses to the top of her head to stare at the two of them. 

"Am I interrupting?"She eventually asked, arching an eyebrow and Yuqi narrowed her eyes, hating how Shuhua had picked the same habit and would always do it to be condescending to others. Yuqi included. 

Shuhua was quick to reply. "No, you're not"

"How did you get in?" Yuqi said at the same time. "Do you know how to pick locks now?" She asked, moving away towards the freezer to grab something to drink and avoid anyone noticing her cigarette breath, especially her. She doesn't need the two of them lecturing her. 

"I have a spare key" She replied, as it was obvious. "I bought the apartment remember"

"Shuhua bought it" Yuqi corrected, always hating that attitude. 

"It's in her name but I made the purchase"

"It really does not matter" It was Shuhua who said it this time. "Do you need anything?"

"Your drama's release date has been delayed" She was direct to the point. "They wanted to put a good image by respecting your time to deal with grief so the date has been pushed to the end of the year"

"This is ridiculous" 

"But-" She raised a finger. "I managed to find you a role in an upcoming drama here in Korea, nothing too long but enough to keep you from getting bored"

"Are you serious?" They heard Yuqi ask. "We just came out of a funeral and you want her to go to work already"

"Yuqi, it's fine," Shuhua said calmly. Almost like they weren't arguing just a few minutes ago.

"No, It 's not! You're already overworking!" She replied. "This is ridiculous, If Aunt was here-"

"Well, She isn't. "Shuhua quickly cut her. "She 's dead. Let it go" She then said and without saying anything Yuqi left the room, the faint noise of her slamming the door of her room being heard after. "Sorry about that, she's too sensitive" 

"Yuqi just needs her time" The older replied. "And you need to go out more. You're too pale."

"Joohyun-"

"No buts, You have to show your face more often." The woman interrupted between coming closer and placing her purse on top of the kitchen counter.

"I'm just another actress with a dead mom. How much attention can I get?" The younger replied before making her way to the freezer to grab a glass of water. "Don't you have to worry about your company too? now that you're back here? You always focused on the Chinese branch-" 

"It's in good hands." She replied. "My priority right now is taking care of you" 

"You're not my mom."

Joohyun opened her mouth, then closed again, going against her impulse of saying how she really felt, they didn't need this kind of conflict between them right now, as much as she didn't show, Shuhua was still affected by her mother's death. 

"Still." The woman spoke up."I want to make sure you're doing okay and no you cannot do that by yourself" She added once she noticed the other open her mouth most likely to argue against her words. 

"What is this drama about?" Shuhua finally asked. 

"From what I have heard it's about a dance teacher who finds out she has a terminal illness, after that she tries to enjoy her last moments trying to find her friends from high school and old boyfriend" The woman explained, fighting the urge to roll her eyes at the disgusted expression on Shuhua's face. "Darling, it's been 10 years already and you still have the same reaction every time you have a male as your love interests" 

“I feel like I have kissed more men than I wanted to, that’s all” Shuhua replied, as she moved around the kitchen to grab something to eat under the other’s gaze. “When will I kiss another woman on screen?”

“Not in South Korea, I believe” Joohyun replied, smiling softly now. “Maybe when you’re back to Taiwan”

“Ah, This is so ridiculous. This place is still the same” The younger mumbled under her breath. “So, how should I prepare?” She asked.

"They'll be sending the script tomorrow, the company will also have you take some dance classes for a more accurate acting" 

"Because singing wasn't enough," Shuhua said. "Well, while that doesn't happen I'll finish writing my script-"

"What if-" The older woman started. "Me, you and Yuqi go out a bit" She suggested. "As I said, you need to go out more, and maybe a new scenario will be good for you two to stop bickering with each other so much."

"We're like siblings," Shuhua replied. "We always bicker, But I'm glad you worry about her even if she doesn't like you," She added and the woman shrugged. 

"Your family is my family" She replied, sincerely. "But enough of that, go take a shower and convince Yuqi to leave her room"

"I'll try but I don't make any promises."

  
  


x--------------------×-------------------x

  
  


"Minnie invited us to spend the weekend with them" Soyeon told Soojin once she entered the kitchen as the younger was washing the dishes; Soojin looked surprised for a second but then frowned. 

A few days have passed since the funeral, there was still this gloom atmosphere in the air from grief but enough time had passed where reuniting again to just bander with friends was appropriate and Soyeon had the feeling that Minnie wanted for Yuqi and Shuhua’s stay in South Korea to not be a memory only attached to grieving, but talking with their old friends as well, even if things between them were left.... Not so good.

"Will Shuhua be there?" Soojin asked and the other knew that she would realize the situation soon enough.

Soyeon shrugged, as she wasn’t sure. All she had was a speculation. "I don't know"

"Sounds like a yes to me," Soojin replied, grabbing an apple from the fruit bowl and taking a bite. "She never lost the need to play cupid, huh?"

"Maybe she just wants to see all of us together again, She has a daughter you know. It would be good for Minji to see her moms' friends all together and-"

"You just want to see Yuqi again," Soojin accused and Soyeon turned around, shocked. "You still like her!" 

"I don't like her, I just think we had no actual closure and it is for the best if we at least talked to keep things between us clear" She said. "You should do the same with Shuhua too"

“I’m fine the way I am!”

“Well I think you’re scared” Soyeon replied and Soojin raised her eyebrows in disbelief. “Scared of seeing her again and realizing that you still feel something”

“You’re being ridiculous”

“You’re not denying it!”

“I don’t need to deny it, I don’t feel anything for her besides feeling resentful”

Soojin was never a good liar, and Soyeon knew this but it was clear she didn’t wanted to admit how she really felt and the other couldn’t blame her after all most people would hate Shuhua if they their heart were broken by her, but Soojin still felt something and maybe felt like she shouldn’t, especially after so long; So Soyeon just decided to drop the subject for now and let the other take her time.

“Fine, whatever you say” It’s all Soyeon told her as she watched Soojin shake her head as she stood up still eating her apple, making her way out for another day of work, once she’s out Soyeon is the one shaking her head, hoping the other changes her mind eventually, hopefully before Shuhua goes back to China again, with Yuqi at her side.

Yuqi and Shuhua… The duo had always been together and Soyeon felt stupid for never realized back then that something was going on between them, at least from Yuqi's side, from what she remembers from those infamous diary pages, All Shuhua felt for Yuqi was nothing but a sibling-like love, and constantly hoped for her to move on, in those page she also discovered Shuhua, alongside Minnie, encouraged the chinese girl to date her; After knowing the truth it was hard looking at them, when Yuqi left with Shuhua, she was sad and thought about calling her but pride spoke louder and eventually they lost contact and their only bridge to each other was Minnie.

She places the last clean plate to the side and sighed before looking around the kitchen and thinking about what might have been, but there was no turning back now and she can only hope that talking with the other girl would be enough to repair some of the friendship they had in the past. 

x--------------------×-------------------x

  
  


_ "You’re scared of seeing her again and realizing that you still feel something" _

' _ as if! _ ' Soojin thought as she made way to the studio with quick and loud steps, face buried in her scarf as she has a big frown between her eyebrows, feeling annoyed by what Soyeon had told her earlier and hating how a simple sentence was enough to get her so moody so early in the morning, hopefully spending her energy on dancing today would improve her mood; The walked into the studio and made her way towards the glass doors, frowning as she saw some people inside. 

_ 'They're coming earlier than I expected _ ' She thought before taking a deep breath and putting up her best non-upset face as she made her way inside, her students thought of her as the cool teacher who was always in a good mood and she wouldn’t like that to change just because she met her ex just a few days ago. Once she was inside, it didn’t take long for her to notice the three women as well as the two bodyguards inside the studio, her body freezing once they turned around to look at her and so her eyes finally recognized the black haired woman in front of her.

  
  
  


_ Shuhua... _


	2. Chapter 2

It was a big opportunity in her career, the payment was big and she got exposure from working with such a well known actress, there was no doubt that  _ when _ , not  _ if _ , the drama was out and becomes a success there will be several companies contacting her after, the pros of accepting were several.

The cons? Said actress is her ex.

Shuhua looks almost exactly the same as when she left now that she gets to have a closer and longer look at her, the same pale skin, the same round black eyes, now colder than before and the long silk black hair. The bangs from before were long gone. Younger Shuhua, the one who would constantly smirk as the smug brat she was seemed to be long gone as well, replaced by whoever this person who doesn't smile or doesn't speak loud was. It was weird, to Soojin at least. Yuqi, who was with her, seemed to be used to this change already so it wasn't something caused by grieving her mother, but more likely from time so far away from home. 

Soojin told herself to not let her curiosity get the best of her, it’s because of said curiosity that she ended up dating Shuhua in the first place, wanting to know more about her and getting closer than she should and paying the price with a broken heart in the end. Whatever happened that changed the Shuhua from before was none of her business and she would try not to find out, just do her job and leave. 

“Those classes should go for about 3 months” The woman named Joohyun told her, she was the same from before, back in the funeral who didn’t leave Shuhua’s side and now she was here too, as they talked about the job in question. “Shuhua wants an accurate performance for her role” She said, motioning to the woman who wasn’t even participating in the conversation and more focused on anything else.

‘ _ The Shuhua I remember also never let people talk for her _ ’ Soojin wanted to say but could only nod at the older woman’s words, once in a while glancing at the taiwanesse woman who was more interested in looking around, almost as if evaluating her studio, the mirrors and benches and the pictures on the walls from previous students that came and left along the years, it wasn’t a fancy one but it was comfy for her, suddenly she felt stupid for caring about whatever Yeh Shuhua thought about her workplace, her opinion didn’t matter, not anymore.

“Now that the business talk is over” Yuqi finally said, after dealing with the absolute boredom of having to stay still and watch them talk about work, the chinese woman looked at Soojin and smiled and she couldn’t help but remember back on high school days, it felt almost like the same smile she had back then, but now, no matter how genuine it looks Soojin could tell said smile never reached her eyes. “Why don’t we catch up, Soojin?” 

For a second she wanted to say no and claim she was going to be busy but she remembered Soyeon’s words from before, things between them, especially the four of them were already left in bad terms, why not try to at least keep things polite between her and Yuqi, the worst that could happen was making the mood awkward by bringing up their similar taste for basketball players.

Ah, she was already making things awkward inside her head.

“Shuhua,” Yuqi turned around to call the younger who just looked at them, clearly uninterested by whatever they were talking about. “let’s stay here and catch up with Soojin-”

“I have work to do” The other replied right away as she started to make her way out, giving them a quick glance. “Maybe another time” It’s all she said before leaving, not giving the other a chance to insist on it; Soojin watched as Yuqi sighs, frustrated by that but decided not to comment anything as Joohyun and the bodyguards quickly followed Shuhua out of the studio.

“Well” She said, looking at Soojin with an awkward smile that almost made the older woman laugh. “I guess it’s just the two of us then”

  
  
  


x--------------------×-------------------x

  
  
  


At first glance Song Yuqi looked exactly as the same school clown with great grades that she was back in the day, with an easy smile and somehow always had a topic to talk about, so the possibility of an awkward silence was never a thing with her; Soojin however, knew her a bit better than that, Yuqi was good, way too good, at hiding things.

“Oh, this used to be a park, didn’t it?” The chinese asked, pointing at the parking lot they were walking by, Soojin nodded as she briefly explaining how not many people actually went to the park and so eventually it became a parking lot, the old trees and fences of steel going down alongside the basketball court where Soojin could still remember younger Shuhua teaching her how to play with a excited smile on her lips, back on a cold winter night, but it was all memories now. Long forgotten. “What else changed?”

“Well, Our school closed down”

“No way!”

Soojin nodded, it was still weird to drive by the building where they used to spend all day going around the hallways playing, talking and bickering and not see it filled with students as always. 

“Someone might buy the building some day, change it into something else” Soojin commented fixing her coat as it started to become colder. “By the way, how are things for you?”

“Me?”

“Yes, how is your life?” She asked, knowing that the other had been avoiding talking about herself and just focusing on Soojin and the changes of the city instead. “I mean, there must be something to talk about, right? It’s been so long”

Yuqi seemed to think for a while. “Well, besides work I have been spending more time with my mother” She said with a shrug.

However, Shuhua hated it and Yuqi knew, the taiwanesse never liked her mother, not after what she did and so every time she went to pay the woman a visit, she would rather not tell the younger so she wouldn’t have to hear her complaints about it. 

“So, not seeing anyone?” Soojin asked.

“Didn’t say that.” Yuqi laughed. “Just no official relationship from me for now” Soojin watched as she casually picked up the cigarette from her coat’s pocket, placing it between her lips as she lit it up much to the older’s surprise, but she held back any comments about it.

Things really changed. 

“What about you?” Yuqi then asked, taking the cigarette from her lips for a second. “Seeing anyone?”

“Not really… Not anymore at least”The older replied and Yuqi nodded before biting her bottom lip and Soojin knew she wanted to ask something else as well. 

“Is… Soyeon seeing anyone?” She then asked and Soojin almost laughed at the question, somehow she thinks she should see it coming, yet it still caught her off guard somehow; She knew Soyeon wasn’t officially seeing anyone but was also aware she has been going out with someone she still didn’t introduce yet. . 

“It’s complicated.” She said, watching as Yuqi nodded. “You can ask her once you two get to meet, I’m assuming Minnie also invited you and Shuhua for the next weekend. Right?”

“She did, actually.” Soojin smiled at how obvious Minnie was, she knew that the moment she invited her and Soyeon it meant she also invited the other duo. “I’m still trying to convince Shuhua to go, but she’s busy with work and... stuff” She’s quiet for a second. “I think we all need a break, especially after what happened with uncle... and now aunt too” Soojin placed a hand on her shoulder and offered Yuqi a soft smile, it was the best she could do when she lacked the words to comfort the other in this situation, it really was a lot to take in just a few years. 

“Hey, how about we go eat something? There’s a new place that I’m sure you would like” Soojin suddenly said, hoping to cheer the other up with a good and warm meal, and make sure to keep the cigarette away from her lips for a few hours; Yuqi seemed to like the idea because she nodded as she smiled brightly, probably for the first time since she arrived. 

“Thank you, Soojin” It’s all she said as they made their way towards the placed the older wanted to go.

  
  
  


x--------------------×-------------------x

  
  


_ “Just do it!” Soojin said, already zooming in with the camera and smiling while the younger sighs, not doing much besides moving her arms. “Hurry up!”  _

_ “Hold on! I’m trying” Shuhua protested before giving her best, however she didn’t feel shy not even when Soojin started to laugh, if anything that just gave her a boost to keep going and dance as silly as possible even if it didn’t match the song. “am I seducing you?” She asked, which just made Soojin laugh harder as she nods.  _

_ “Why do you dance so… round?”  _

_ “I have my own style, Seo Soojin!” Shuhua claims as she kept on randomly moving her arms around and getting more laughs out of the older girl. “If you’re going to become a dancer you gotta learn others… exotic ways of dancing” _

_ “Oh, yeah whatever you’re doing is exotic” Soojin said. “But don’t worry, I’ll teach you how to dance one day” _

_ “You better!”  _

Shuhua stood in front of her in the studio, dressed in black head to toe and never before Soojin thought she would miss her ugly green shirt or the crocs she was always using, now replaced by whatever expensive brand she was currently wearing right now; The most she said when she came, just a few minutes ago, was a simple and quiet ‘hello’ followed by a ‘good morning’. 

“Let’s start with some stretching first” Soojin said and the other only nodded. “We won’t be doing much today since you’re not that much of a dancer” she commented, yet hoping her words don’t sound too  personal, but if they did Shuhua shown no reaction to it and just followed her movements instead; The older came to the conclusion she just wanted to finish this as quick as possible. 

“You have tattoos” Shuhua then pointed out of nowhere, staring at the back of her neck as Soojin’s hair was tied in a bun so she could see the butterflies on her skin attached to the word ‘blue’; The comment caught Soojin out of guard as she froze for a second, staring at the younger through the mirror. 

“Yeah, I do” Soojin quickly replied before doing the movements again, followed by Shuhua who was quiet for a few seconds. “If you’re wondering, yes my father was very upset” She then added, remembering their talk about tattoos, which felt like it was a lifetime ago; The mention of Mr. Seo brought a tiny smile on Shuhua’s lips before her face remained neutral once again. 

“I have a tattoo too” Shuhua mentioned and Soojin raised her eyebrows, surprised by that. She didn’t think the other would actually get one, but then again it’s been so many years. What does she even know about Shuhua now? She glanced at her through the mirror again, she was all covered up so she couldn’t really see any signs of a tattoo on her.

“Didn’t think you would get one” Soojin replied, pulling her right leg back and watching as the other did the same. “You were always a bit squeamish about pain”

“Well, Things change”

Soojin is in silence for a second before she nods.

“I guess they do”

After that none of them talked much, when they did it was about the dance and work, how the younger could improve and Soojin fixing her gestures and poses once in a while, Shuhua was a fast learner and Soojin knew that was because she was the, somewhat unhealthy, combination of a perfectionist and a workaholic and so once she was fixed on something, it was hard to get her to stop until she felt fully satisfied with it but to Soojin, the taiwanesse could never be satisfied with anything. 

But it was none of her business, she reminded herself once again that day, all she needed to do was to finish her job for the day and then go on with her life until those 3 months of private classes were over, after that she didn’t need to focus on those past memories anymore.

She has to focus on moving on. 

“Thank you for teaching me, Miss Seo” The polite words caught her off guard, especially as they were followed by a bow that Soojin was quick to imitate, I guess Shuhua wanted to keep things between them as professional as possible and she was thankful for that. “I’ll see you next class”

“Until tomorrow” Soojin said, watching as the other made her way out to grab her stuff with one of her bodyguards; Soojin quickly grabbed her own bag and covered up in no time, thankfully the taiwanesse’s classes were the ones of the day so she didn’t had to worry about teaching her students while having her in the back of her head all day, so that was a big relief.

On her way out she saw Shuhua, now fully dressed up with her outwear clothes; Talking on the phone. 

“Everything is alright” She heard the woman say, as she walked down the hallway, pulling the zipper of her coat all the way up with her free hand. “I’ll have to hang up now, We’re already leaving.” There’s a pause and she hears the younger chuckle. “I love you too” She mumbled, a bit embarrassed as her cheeks turned pink, before she ended the call.

Soojin stood by the door as Shuhua finally left, releasing a sigh she didn’t even know she was holding back. She definitely should focus on moving forward with her life.

Especially when Shuhua already did the same.


	3. Chapter 3

“This place is huge” Minnie said, walking into the apartment, looking around while Yuqi followed right behind with a smile, the older wanting to check out their place and see how they were living and for sure wasn’t expecting such a big apartment with a great view. “This place is fancy!”

“Minnie, You live in a mansion” 

The mansion in fact was a wedding gift from Minnie’s family, from the pictures Yuqi saw, the place was really big, more than this apartment for sure. 

“Is a mini mansion!”

“and you’re terrible at being modest” The younger added with a chuckle as they walked into the living room and stood in front of the big window. “Actually I’m surprised you never had an apartment, didn’t you say it was easier?”

“Miyeon wanted a house,” Minnie explained. “and with Minji, it was for the best too. Kids need lots of space” She looked around, the place wasn’t very colorful. Black, Brown and Grey colors all around, a bit too gloomy for her taste. "Where's Shuhua?”

“Locked up in her office, as always” Yuqi said, walking towards the couch, sitting down before gesturing for the other to do the same. “Reading and Writing. It’s all work related”

“I thought we could spend some time together, the three of us,” Minnie replied, sitting down next to Yuqi.”How is she by the way?”

“The same as always, She’ll stay in her office all day. Leave once to grab something to eat, usually when she thinks I’m sleeping and then go back in again, she had this opportunity to write her own drama and is now obsessed with it, but won’t stop taking any new roles either” She crossed her arms and sighs. 

“Have you tried talking to her?”

“Well, Yeah. But do you think that dumbass listens to anything I say?” Yuqi shakes her head but then stops talking once they hear footsteps coming downstairs and soon enough Shuhua shows up by the door frame of the living room, surprised once she sees Minnie who quickly stood up, smiling at the younger. 

“I didn’t know we had visitors,” Shuhua said while Minnie approached her.

“You would know if you left your office”

“Ah, Yuqi was whining about me already” She said while Minnie hugged her, patting her back gently. The chinese girl rolled her eyes.

“I don’t whine” She argued. “I was being sincere. You’re an workaholic who only cares about your work and not enough about your friends”

“Minnie, tell Yuqi that just because I’m a dedicated person to my work doesn’t mean I’m addicted to it. I can stop anytime I want” The younger said.

“as if! she won’t even go out with me for 5 minutes” Yuqi accused and then looked at Minnie. “My brother spent more time with me than Shuhua”

“Your brother?”

“You did not just compare me with Lucas!” Shuhua said, clearly offended. “He doesn’t even have a real job! He lives off your mom who lives off you!”

“Again with my mom? Let it go!”

“You-”

Minnie was quick to shut down the argument. “Hey! No arguing please, we should be spending time together having a good time and laughing like good times”

The younger duo just stared at each other before Yuqi shrugged and looked away, meanwhile Shuhua mumbled something that Minnie couldn’t understand before she left the room and walked into the kitchen which just made the older woman sigh. It feels like she’s still dealing with two teenagers.

She sat back next to Yuqi again. “So, how are you parents?”

The chinese woman shrugged. “My mom it’s on her way to her fourth husband and my dad’s new girlfriend is 25” She raised her eyebrows and sighs. “It could be worse, honestly”

“I didn’t know you had a brother,” Minnie said, arching an eyebrow and Yuqi shrugged.

“She didn't know about that either,” Shuhua said, walking in again. “It’s a half brother, one of many”

“Don’t start”

“Well” Minnie started.”What if instead of staying indoors bickering all day, we go out and get some drinks?”

The older saw the way Shuhua glanced to the stairs, possibly thinking about all the work she would miss out if she went out and before she could deny it, Minnie was quick to speak up again. 

“As you said, you can stop anytime, right? Let’s go out” She said and Yuqi held back a smirk once she noticed how Minnie was using Shuhua’s words from before against her and it seemed to work because the taiwanesse looked like she didn’t know how to reply to that besides giving a tired sigh and nodding.

“Fine, I’ll just go grab my stuff”

“Finally, a victory” Yuqi said as soon as Shuhua left the room and Minnie laughed, but deep down was relieved she managed to convince the other.

x--------------------×-------------------x

“Are children always this energetic?” Soojin asked as she watched Minji jump and dance in front of the TV, watching some cartoon she didn’t really know about. Miyeon laughed at her question.

“I think this is Minnie’s influence, they always dance together when she comes back from work” Miyeon said, smiling as remembers the sight of Minnie in a fancy suit, dancing to some cartoon’s song with their daughter in the living room, the image never failed to make her smile. “It’s very entertaining, really” She added, laughing as she looked at the little girl.

“Speaking of Minnie, where is she?”

Miyeon sighs and Soojin realized she probably shouldn’t have said anything because the soft smile from before was gone and now there was a frown instead.

“She’s… with the other two. Yuqi and Shuhua” She said. “I guess they’ll go out drinking”

“You don’t sound too happy about it”

Miyeon only shrugged. 

“If you have a problem why not tell her about it?” Soojin asked.

She knew the whole Shuhua subject was still something delicate between them, whatever Miyeon saw on those diary pages changed her and how she viewed Shuhua, whatever affection she used to have for her was gone, but the same didn’t apply to Minnie who still loved Shuhua the same as before, while many would think Miyeon was jealous of their relationship, Soojin had the feeling that jealousy wasn’t the problem here but something else that the older refused to talk about.

“I’m not gonna keep Minnie from doing what she wants” The older replied. “If she wants to hang out with them then let her. I don’t care”

“Well, you do sound like you care. a lot” Soojin pointed out and the others could only sigh. “You know, it’s okay to not be happy about it, denying it will just make you feel worse”

“I don’t think you can give me advice about denying my own feelings” Miyeon replied, raising her eyebrows and Soojin raised both of her hands in surrender. “Things are okay between the both of us most of the time”

“Most of the time? That’s far from ideal”

“Soojin.”

“Fine, I’ll keep the comments to myself”

“Thank you” She said before continuing again. “Also I heard you’re giving her dance classes now”

Soojin sighs. “It’s for a new role in some upcoming drama” She explained. “Some sick dancer or something like that, so her agency contacted me”

“Hm. That’s too much of a coincidence don’t you think?” Miyeon asked, glancing at Minji again to make sure the kid was still in front of the TV instead of going into dangerous adventures around the house. 

“What do you mean?” Soojin asked, confused and Miyeon rolled her eyes.

“Well, out of all the dance studios in Seoul, she just so happened to go to yours of all places? I think that’s planned somehow” The older said, crossing her arms and Soojin seemed to think for a while, considering her words before she shakes her head. There was no way.

“No, I don’t think so. Plus, why would she? Who wants to be in a room with their ex from 10 years ago for 5 hours everyday?” The younger asked, Miyeon’s assumption didn’t make any sense. 

“The types of exes that want you back”

“I heard her on the phone the other day,” Soojin said. “Clearly she already moved on with someone else and is clearly taken. It’s been years after all”

“Does that bother you?”

“What? No! Why would it?”

“I don’t know, you tell me”

“Have you talked to Soyeon these days?” Soojin asked. “Because she has been saying things like that too”

“I’m just saying...That might be the reason”

“Ok, Shuhua can be anything, a smug, lying bastard but I don’t think cheater is one of her flaws” Soojin said, and was confident about that fact about the girl, sure Shuhua was always popular with the girls back in high school but her eyes were only on Soojin, just like she promised it would be.

Or at least is what she thought back then, before knowing about her feelings for Minnie. 

“You don’t know Shuhua anymore” Miyeon replied with a simple shrug. “Who knows what kind of person she is now”

“I think you’re letting your grudge make you view Shuhua in a way we both know is not her at all” The younger argued. “If I don’t know Shuhua anymore, then the same applies to you”

“I know that sadly we like the same type of women” Miyeon said and Soojin closed her mouth before she could argue again, she didn’t need the reminder.

But unlike her, Miyeon seemed to remember that everyday. 

x--------------------×-------------------x

The bar was near their apartment, somewhere not too fancy so a dress code wasn’t needed but still too important to let anyone enter hence the huge line outside; The place was dark, the illumination was the purple neon lights and Yuqi frowned, it didn’t match the broad daylight from outside at all, the place wasn’t as full which was a relief, the last thing she wanted was to be around other drunk people.

“Why did we come here, I have a perfectly nice bar at home” Shuhua mumbled once they were sitting comfortable on one of the circular couches of the place. “and is certainly better illuminated”

“Stop complaining,” Minnie said. “Take this as opportunity to meet new people, maybe find a special someone to warm your heart or something”

“Yeah, a bar is indeed the best place to find the love of my life, that’s a great piece of advice” The taiwanesse mocked, bringing her glass to her lips, and taking a sip of her drink while Yuqi laughed.

“She already found her special someone and her heart is still as cold” The chinese woman said, ignoring the other’s glare. 

“Special Someone?” Minnie asked, surprised. “Why don’t you guys don’t tell me this kind of thing in the emails, seriously!?”

“It’s nothing serious,” Shuhua said, taking another sip and waiting for this conversation to be over, but Yuqi seemed to insist on this talk and Minnie was more than curious about it.

“You two spent a whole month away on vacation, come on” Yuqi said. “and I use the word vacation loosely because you don’t know what that means anymore”

“Well, I have lived with you for 10 years now, does that mean we’re dating too?” Shuhua asked.

“Okay, hold on. Wait-” Minnie interrupted, and then pointed at Shuhua. “So you’re seeing someone?” The taiwanesse shrugged.

“Yes, she is,” Yuqi answered instead.

“So that means she’s waiting for you to come back to China” The older concluded, not really needing the other’s confirmation.

“I never really said I would stay” It’s all Shuhua said, taking another sip. 

Deep down, Minnie expected to somehow convince the other to stay, to be a part of their lives again but now this changes things, she has someone now and someone who’s waiting for her to come back home so they can go on with their lives. She wasn’t expecting that, maybe she was the fool in this story, the friend who can’t let go of the past and their good times as teenagers and refusing to face the fact that they can never be like before anymore.

“I’m gonna grab more drinks for all” It’s all Minnie said, standing up and making her way to the bar, once she’s far away Yuqi gasps when she feels Shuhua kick her under the table.

“Why did you tell her?!”

“I didn’t know it was a secret?” The other replies. “Also, she was going to find out sooner or later”

Shuhua rolled her eyes.

“Come on, at least pretend you’re happy with what you have,” Yuqi said. “At least she likes you” She then looked at the hand holding the glass. “Even if you don’t wear the ring”

The younger chose to ignore her.

x--------------------×-------------------x

“That won’t do” Soojin said right away, watching Shuhua repeat the moves she had shown her, standing with her arms crossed behind the taiwanesse and watching on the mirror. “You’re too stiff, you need to relax more if you want it to look natural”

“so... am I a stiff or round dancer?” the younger woman asked, Soojin was caught off guard by the playfulness in her voice. “What? Too personal?”

Soojin shakes her head. “No, I just wasn’t expecting it”

Shuhua shrugged at her reaction, not seeming to care or think much of it and instead just focused on following what the older woman told her before, it took Soojin a while to get used to the sudden change of topic to complete silence but quickly she was back to her teacher mode again.

Things are still weird, the both of them were not sure what was okay to talk about or what wasn’t so awkward silence was starting to become a thing every time Shuhua walked into the studio for her classes; Soojin was still weirded out by the changes on her personality, it was a bit too much to take in now.

“No, do it like this” Soojin said, showing the movement again, while Shuhua watched intensely through the mirror, hoping to catch every detail of the way the older moved her arms as she danced, and right away she did the same while Soojin nodded, glad that she was picking it up quick, she smiled at the other before she could stop herself, wondering if she was practicing at home. Knowing Shuhua, that sounds like something she would do.

But that wasn’t the same Shuhua from before, Soojin reminded herself once their eyes met through the mirror, then she caught a glimpse of something under her sleeve.

Her tattoo.

It seemed to be something colorful, across her forearm, but she couldn’t get a good view of it due to the long sleeves she was wearing. 

“How was this?”

“Better”

The younger seemed somewhat satisfied with that; There’s a few knocks on the door and she turned around, seeing Hui walking in, he stopped on his tracks once he noticed Shuhua, either surprised she was there or, judging by the clock on the wall, she was still here at this hour. Probably both; Shuhua stopped what she was doing and narrowed her eyes at the man, probably trying to recognize him, plus not everyday someone walks into the studio holding a bouquet of flowers. That was a surprise to Soojin as well. 

“Oh, I didn’t know you’re still giving classes'' He said, surprised and looking a bit embarrassed for simply walking in like this. “Hm… Hello, Shuhua. It’s been a while-”

“Do I know you?” She asked, confused and not really caring if her question sounded rude. That seemed like the old Shuhua, Soojin thought.

“Huh… Lee Hoetaek” He said, awkwardly gesturing with the flowers he was holding. “... Hui, from highschool” He said and Shuhua finally seemed to remember the boy and smiled at him right away, knowing Hui was one of the few people back in the day who wasn’t a complete asshole to her due to her diary and was one of the few who took those pages downs and stopped more people from reading them.

“Ah, I remember now. It’s been a while” She said and then glanced down at the bouquet he was carrying before looking at Soojin. “I guess he has a gift for you” She added pointing at the flowers before looking at the clock on the wall. “which means that’s my cue to leave” she said with a chuckle before picking up her stuff. 

Soojin didn’t even had the time to say anything before the taiwanesse made her escape through the door, then her eyes fell on Hui and his stupid bouquet of flowers, yet she couldn’t understand why she got upset at him in the first place for showing up with it, he always shows up to pick her up, yet today for a moment she wished Shuhua wasn’t there to see it and she couldn’t understand why. It wasn’t like Shuhua’s opinion about what she does about her love life mattered.

Right?


	4. Chapter 4

“What’s with the flowers?” Soojin asked as soon as Shuhua left the studio, eyes now focused on Hui before approaching him. “Is that for me?” That was new, he never really brought her flowers before.

“What? No'' He said, keeping the bouquet away from her, which made Soojin laugh at his reaction. “It’s for me” He added and the woman raised her eyebrows, surprised. “This girl liked how I groomed her dog last week and so she gave me those today”

“Flowers?”

“Yeah”

That was new. Soojin never heard of girls giving boys flowers before.

“I think she likes you” She said, as they started to make their way out, interlocking arms like they usually do. “Flowers can be a very romantic gift”

“Girls don’t give flowers to Boys tho” Hui replied as soon as they were on the sidewalk, casually walking together. 

“Well, times have changed,” Soojin replied. “It’s not the same as when we were teenagers”

“Please, you make us sound like we’re older than we actually are” He complained, frowning and Soojin chuckled. “Soon enough I’m gonna start having to dye my hair,” He said. “Soojin, why did you make me think of that! I’m almost 40!”

“You’re not almost 40, that’s a few years away” The woman replied, rolling her eyes. “I didn’t think aging would get to you like this”

“Aging affects everyone” He said, as they turned around the corner. “By the way, I didn’t know you’re teaching Shuhua”

“Ah, It’s a long story”

“Well, I’m all ears”

x--------------------×-------------------x

Shuhua had only seen Minnie and Miyeon’s house on pictures that Yuqi sent her by text, the place was big yet not too fancy looking, just the perfect family house to raise lots of children, and Minji had enough energy for at least 3 kids together. When she accepted to spend the weekend with them in what Minnie called a friends reunion, she already knew she had to prepare herself to face Miyeon, or at least be ignored by her but to her surprise the older woman was trying not to be too obvious about her dislike for her.

_ "You should appreciate my affection!" Miyeon said. "One day I'll stop and you'll regret not enjoying it while you had it" _

_ Shuhua laughs. "I doubt that"  _

Shuhua sighs, sitting by the folding chair near the pool in the backyard, She wished she could go back and tell younger Shuhua that she would in fact miss the way Miyeon would constantly baby her, it was definitely better than being ignored by her. She could be colder than the taiwanesse expected.

"Is there any color in your wardrobe?" Minnie asked, sitting next to Shuhua, offering the woman a bottle of cold beer. She was referring to the black clothes she was wearing. "Every time I see you, you're wearing black" 

"Is part of my new aesthetic"

"What aesthetic? Being emo?" 

"Being nostalgic"

Minnie didn't reply. Shuhua didn't expect her too, so she just drank in silence and the other did the same until Miyeon came to them, with a bowl of grapes and placing them on the small table in between their chairs. Minnie smiled at her wife. 

"You two should eat something," She said. "It's no good to just drink beer" 

"Thanks love"

"Thank you, unnie"

It was for the best to keep the honorifics for now. Formal. They aren't close anymore; Shuhua took a big gulp of her beer as she stared at the pool, catching Minji in the corner of her eye, opening the glass door while wearing a cute pink swimsuit and carrying with her a big rubber swan. Probably to float on the water if it wasn't for the fact that it was empty.. 

"Mommy," She shaked the swan as if demanding for the woman to blow on it so she could play, but before Miyeon could stand up, Minnie was already up.

"I'll do it" She said and then made Miyeon sit down on the chair next to shuhua "why don't you two talk while i'm away?" It was only a suggestion but Miyeon knew that Minnie wasn't leaving any room for her to argue and so she just stayed on her chair, watching as her wife walked away before she turned to Shuhua, who was staring at the pool as she drank from her bottle.

and there was awkward silence, a few years ago when Miyeon found herself alone with Shuhua surrounded by nothing but awkward silence and weird tension, she assumed the young girl was shy, maybe self-conscious about her korean skills or just didn't feel as comfortable with her yet; At first, that's what she thought before noticing, and eventually turning a blind eye, to the way her eyes would shine every time Minnie would walk in the room and suddenly all of her shyness was gone. 

Now the tension between now is due to the truth being out, and Miyeon could no longer pretend it was all in her head; A lifetime ago, in their school's empty classroom. The same place where she made Shuhua promise she would stay away from Minnie in a jealousy fit which then became pride, not wanting to admit she went too far, not even when she was following Minnie around the airport, trying to get to Shuhua and Yuqi before they left for Taiwan, days later. 

It hurts. The older thought, watching as Minnie was struggling to fill the rubber swan with as much air as her lungs could allow. It hurts because-

"Is there any candy here?" Shuhua asked suddenly and Miyeon looked at her, confused by the random topic. "Like, lollipops" 

"Lollipops?"

"It's for Yuqi" 

The other woman stayed behind to talk with her manager, making calls about extending how long she would stay in South Korea and so Shuhua went ahead without her. Soojin and Soyeon didn't show up yet either. 

"For Yuqi?"

"To keep her from smoking" The younger explained. "She'll probably try to sneak in some-"

"She smokes?" 

Maybe she should be willing to listen to Minnie more when the other tried to talk to her about her exchange of emails with the foreign duo, but she always assumed they would never come back again and so tried to distance herself as much as possible. Now that they're here again, and a simple exchange of words with Shuhua was enough to make her realize how much things have changed and how much she has been missing out about the younger pair that she once thought of as her own siblings.

"I thought Minnie told you," Shuhua said. "I have been trying to get her to stop, but-"

"How long has she been doing it?"

The Taiwanesse shrugged. "a few years now" 

It started too soon, at first Shuhua didn't think much of it. A lot of people smoke, her father used to, once every week, but it didn't take long for her to realize Yuqi's smoking was going to be a problem, but the younger didn't blame her. She would do the same if she had a mother like hers. 

"I...I didn't know" Miyeon expected a snarky comment, as she should know more about them, from the few times they send updates to her wife, But all she got was Shuhua shrugging as she drinks more, so the older pushed the bowl of grapes towards her in silence. "Here, Eat." She said before hearing the doorbell and feeling a wave of relief hit her as she realizes she could escape this situation. 

Shuhua stayed on her seat, watching as Miyeon almost sprinted out of the backyard and made her way into the house just in time for the taiwanesse to hear Minnie and Minji's scream of victory towards the swan floating on the water as the Thai woman picked up the little girl and made her way into the water. 

"Aunt Shu! Come, Come!" The girl said,hitting her tiny fists on the water which made Shuhua chuckle as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees.

"Sorry, Kid. Aunt Shu can't swim" The woman said. 

"I can teach you one day," Minnie said smiling and Shuhua just chuckled again before taking the sunglasses hanging from her shirt and putting it on. She couldn't reply to that, it meant making plans for the future, a future where she would stay here in South Korea, which would never happen and so she would rather not give them false hopes. "It will be just like when I taught you how to drive"

"You mean when Yuqi almost killed a squirrel?" Both laughed at the memory.

"Why are you two talking about the squirrel again?" They heard Yuqi ask as she walked in. "Didn't we agree to not talk about my criminal records?" 

"It was a memorable moment" Minnie replied and then looked back at the glass door behind her. "have you seen Miyeon?"

"In the kitchen with Soojin and Soyeon" She said before making her way towards Shuhua, chuckling at her choice of clothes. "Don't you look bright and colorful today, Morticia" She mocked. 

"and you look like a clown" Shuhua replied, reaching for the edge of Yuqi's bright button up orange shirt with yellow flowers patterns all over it. The chinese woman shrugged and sat down next to her, grabbing one of the grapes and quickly putting it inside her mouth as she looked down and smirked.

"What is that?"

"My crocs"

The younger stretched her legs, reclining against her chair, arms behind her head while Yuqi just shakes her head. 

"It's ugly"

"It's comfortable," Shuhua replied. "You know what's ugly? Smokers."

"I'm trying to quit, come on. Don't guilt trip me"

"I'm not. Just reminding you" The glass door is open again and there was Miyeon, with a tray with juicy and ask that was most certainly just for Minji, Soyeon and Soojin right behind her; She didn't miss the way Yuqi's eyes were glued on Soyeon as she went closer to the pool to talk to Minnie and Minji. 

"Please, have some self respect, You're almost drooling" Shuhua mumbled, thankfully her sunglasses kept her safe. Nobody could see who she was looking at.

Yuqi wiped the corners of her mouth.  _ Just in case _ .

"Just talk to her." The younger suggested. "Do you want me to go talk to Soyeon for you?"

"I'm not 16 anymore, you don't need to go talk to her for me" Yuqi complained. "Why don't you go talk to Soojin!" 

"I talked to her like, yesterday" The taiwanesse said. "Plus, I still think Soyeon is the best for you, I just want you to be with someone that makes you happy" Yuqi thinks is impressive how the other could say those meaningful words when her face was neutral and devoid of any expression; She'll always like the old Shuhua better, the one who was louder than a thunder. 

" _ What about you? _ " She asked, in chinese. " _ What are you gonna do when the wedding day arrives?" _

" _ What people usually do in weddings. Get married _ " Shuhua rolled her eyes at the silly question. " _ Why are you still questioning this? _ "

" _ It pains me to see you marry for the first time but not with someone you love _ "

" _ I want comfort, and to feel less lonely. I don't need love"  _

Yuqi wondered, as she heard those words, if that's how her parents felt when they decided to get married. Not love,just comfort. She couldn't understand the logic behind this, not when she saw the consequences of a relationship built on nothing but tolerating each other until they didn't anymore.

" _ I know you still have something to say, _ " Shuhua said, finishing her bottle, and then turning to Yuqi. "Just spit it out"

"You might hate her," Yuqi started. "But you sound just like my mother" It's all she said before standing up and walking towards the pool while Shuhua stayed on her chair.

x--------------------×-------------------x

Soojin thought Minnie deserves a medal for all the effort she put into bringing them all together and keeping the conversation going despite they all still feeling awkward around each other; Yuqi seemed satisfied and happy with her job and Minji even had her promise she could show up in one of her programs which the chinese woman was quick to agree despite the fact that, judging by the frown, Miyeon didn't think it was a good idea, as for Minnie, she would smile and nod, saying something along the lines of her baby being charismatic for TV.

It was a fun contrast, Minnie as a fun mom and Miyeon as the strict one, like a game of good cop and bad cop; They were sitting by the round table near the swimming pool. Talking, eating and drinking like the old days where most of their worries were grades, getting to class on time and earning plastic trophies for their school; But Soyeon and Yuqi avoiding direct talk, Shuhua checking her phone every 2 minutes and Miyeon being the scolding mom were big remainders that things changed.

"I have been working on a new song" Soyeon timidly said and Yuqi perked up at that, she heard about Soyeon becoming a producer now, leaving her previous work and all. "I'm feeling anxious about it"

"Don't be!" Miyeon said. "You're talented"

"Miyeon is right," Minnie added while the others nodded. "What matters is that you're doing what you love."

"That didn't work for Hui"

"He's trying," Soojin said. Yuqi stared at her.

"Hui? Like, from our school?"

"Yeah," Shuhua said. "Her boyfriend, I saw him like a few days ago in her studio with this really big bouquet of flowers-"

"He's not my boyfriend." Soojin said. "We're just roommates"

"Oh, Ok." Shuhua said, still focused on her phone. "Just roommates then, I guess that's what they call it those days."

Somehow the comment was enough to bring back the tension that they tried so hard to get rid off, Soojin wants to blame it all on Shuhua, but she knew she shouldn't sound so defensive about it when the other wasn't even trying to be hostile or anything; Maybe that's what being around an ex feels like. 

Minji started to yawn and that seemed to be the perfect excuse for Miyeon to run away from the situation while she could see Minnie looking at her as if questioning if she would just let her handle everything on her own. 

"Huh-" In any other situation, Soojin would've laughed at Minnie's sudden awkwardness.

"God, you guys ruined the moment" It was Yuqi who said, always the blunt one of the group. 

Shuhua shrugged, not really seeing the problem there, meanwhile Soojin just sighs, feeling like an idiot thinking things could go smoothly.

x--------------------×-------------------x

Yuqi felt like a teenager again, the palm of her hands sweating as she internally tries to think of a way to talk to Soyeon, hopefully in a way that doesn't make things awkward, on the bright side, the other woman didn't seem as upset as when she tried to call her before the funeral so she could only assume that Soyeon had also decided to improve what was left of what they once had.

Maybe.

Or maybe she was being hopeful just because Soyeon is being polite, but it was for the better to risk it than regretting not doing anything. 

"Why producer?" Yuqi asked once she managed to get alone with the other, once again in the backyard. 

"I used to write songs back in high school and it.. just felt right as it does now," Soyeon said.

"Writing songs?" Yuqi asked. "You never told me that back when we-" She stopped herself, not wanting to bring up those memories, not yet at least. "I didn't know"

Of course she didn't know about it, her songs were all dedicated to Yuqi, but they broke up before she could show them to her, now they are just empty words for a lover she doesn't have anymore. 

"I guess we didn't have enough time back then," Soyeon told her with a shrug before looking back into the house. "I think we should go in now, Soojin might wanna leave-" 

Yuqi held her wrist. 

"What?"

"Stay. Let's talk more" Yuqi said. "We didn't had time back then but we do now"

"I really need to drive us home-"

"Shuhua can take her."

Soyeon chuckled. "That doesn't sound like a good idea" She said, not really minding the other still holding her wrist. 

"Well, they have to talk more than two words eventually"

x--------------------×-------------------x

"Are you gonna stand there or what?" Shuhua asked, leaning against her car while Soojin looked at her then back at the house considering just spending the night. "You're gonna grow roots there"

Soojin sighs. All this because of whatever intentions Soyeon and Yuqi had with each other for the night and now she has to endure a whole car ride with Yeh Shuhua.

"I'm coming!" It's all she said, making her way towards the younger. 


	5. Chapter 5

Winter was coming to an end and so there was only a thin layer of snow around the streets, that would soon go away in the following weeks; Soojin sat in complete silence on the seat next to Shuhua as the younger drove around the streets, the most words they exchanged was when the Taiwanesse asked her address before quickly putting it into the GPS as she started to drive.

The sun was starting to go down, the orange sky turning into dark blue, and as much as the view was amazing Soojin wished she didn't have to see it inside of Shuhua's car, in this awkward silence; She looks out the window and watches the people walking by the sidewalk. 

"So much has changed" She heard the younger comment and turned to look at her. "I used to walk around here all the time but now it looks like a different place" 

"Well, a long time has passed" 

"I guess it had" 

It was a bittersweet feeling, sometimes she wished she didn't left but it was for the best that she did, things were… better this way; Things were…  _ are _ beyond repair now, there was no point in staying if it would only make things worse. 

"Our school closed down, by the way," Soojin said, not sure why she felt the need to make small talk after the past minutes of silence.

Shuhua nodded. "Yuqi told me. It is a pity, I wish I could visit it again" She said. "They'll probably turn it into a mall or something"

"You're right." Soojin said. "My best memories were there" 

"Like when you threw cake on me for saying your hair looks dead?" She asked and the older couldn't stop herself from laughing, thinking back at that moment; Shuhua's face was hilarious back then, frosting and pieces of strawberry all over her chin, neck and leaving a huge stain on her shirt. One of the ugly green ones she was wearing for gym that day. 

"In my defense, you started it"

"You always resorted to violence and throwing things first," Shuhua said. "It's not a bad thing, I used to think it was hilarious."

"So you did it on purpose?"

The Taiwanesse shrugged. "Sometimes"

Soojin shakes her head and chuckles, it was good so far, the talk was going smoothly and naturally and she was glad she didn't have to worry about any tension, at least for now. They just needed to avoid the obvious fact that they dated before, that Shuhua lied and broke her heart; Soojin thinks she can not talk about that, act like it didn't happen even if everytime she looks at the other, she can still remember the feeling of having her trust being broken in the blink of an eye.

"Soyeon stayed behind with Yuqi," Soojin said.

"It's good for them to have a talk. Soyeon was always good for Yuqi" The younger replied. "She helped her a lot with moving forward from…" She didn't finish her sentence and just kept on looking forward.

"Yeah…" It's all Soojin said.

Of course she knew about Yuqi's feelings for Shuhua. Soyeon had told her after the two of that had left for Taiwan, she remembered not feeling that surprised by that as she always had the feeling Yuqi felt that way for Shuhua, always around her, her jealousy of Minnie, keeping boys and other girls away, It felt obvious but once she started to date Soyeon, all Soojin thought was that maybe she was wrong and just reading Yuqi's protectiveness to Shuhua wrong; She wished she was wrong, not for Yuqi or Shuhua.

But because she knew that what Yuqi did damaged Soyeon's confidence and self-esteem more than others realized, if the chinese woman wanted to apologize and make up for it, Soojin hoped she was at least aware of how much it hurt Soyeon back then, and it still does now.

"How are your parents?" Shuhua then asked, going for a safe topic to talk about. "Still healthy I hope?"

"They are ok, Still working as much as before," Soojin said with a shrug and a smile, which faltered a bit as suddenly it hit her again that she couldn't ask the same to Shuhua. "My sister got married by the way" She then said, to distract herself from her own thoughts. 

Shuhua nods. "That's good. Are you an aunt already?"

"No, Not yet at least'' Soojin said. "I don't think she has any plans for kids just yet"

"That's a pity" The other said. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"When are you getting married?"

The question got her off guard, this wasn't something she expected to come out of her lips and suddenly she remembered that Shuhua was her ex again, so this type of question suddenly brought back the tension that once was gone. 

"Is this about Hui? I said that there's nothing going on" Soojin doesn't know why she was explaining herself to her, part of her wanted to just let the younger woman think whatever she wanted but she couldn't help making things clear, however Shuhua's expression remained neutral.

"Why not? He's a cool guy" The other said, simply; Like it was a logical thing.

"I don't view him like that, and neither does he sees me like that" 

That was the truth; As much as everyone she knew expected for something to happen between them once they started to live together, nothing had happened, ever; Neither any of them ever had the urge to start something. Hui was a good man, but a friend above everything. 

"Well, You don't need to love him to date him" 

"Excuse me?"

"Love shouldn't really be a requirement, He looks like the type of man who will take care of you-"

"Is that how you think? Just comfort?"

"Sense of security" Shuhua replied. "If you just stay with someone out of love then what are you gonna do when you run out of love?" 

She doesn't understand; That didn't sound like the Shuhua she was used to, sure she was awkward back then and didn't know how to properly express her feelings outside of jokes but she was never this cynical about love or romantic relationships. What changed?

"So you don't love the person you date?" She asked.

"I-... How do you know about that?" Shuhua asked. "Does Yuqi go around talking about my personal life?"

Soojin shrugged. "I heard you on the phone the other day, that's all"

Shuhua didn't reply.

Still, Soojin couldn't understand how she could say " _ I love you _ "to someone she doesn't really love and suddenly she felt bad for whoever she was dating, someone who was like she was so many years ago, believing in a love that wasn't real. 

"It's not like it's a secret" Shuhua spoke once again. "We just- I like my privacy"

"Have you two been together for a long time?" Soojin asked and Shuhua nodded.

"We have known each other for 6 years now, have been dating for 5" ' _ and engaged for 3 years now _ ' Shuhua added in her head, not really wanting to talk about it despite the feeling of the ring inside her pocket seemed to burn her. "She's back in China" 

"I see" 

6 years is quite a long time, but Shuhua doesn't love her. 

"Did your parents… They liked her?" 

"She never got to meet my dad," Shuhua said. "He passed away months earlier," Soojin nodded. "As for my Mother… She liked her, I guess. She was a good friend"

A good  _ friend _ . 

"A friend? So she didn't know you liked-"

"No. She wouldn't accept it"

"You don't know that…"

"I think I know my mother better than you, Soojin." 

She knew Shuhua was starting to get upset despite her cold expression and neutral voice, she was older now and changed a lot but there were still some things that stayed the same, there was still some of that girl in her, deep down. 

"You're right. I'm sorry."

Shuhua shakes her head. "Don't bother" 

Before Soojin could say anything else, she was interrupted by the buzzing sound of Shuhua's phone laying on her thigh, there was a name on it, in chinese, as well as a picture but the younger rejected the call before she could look at it any longer. 

"Won't she mind you rejecting her calls?"

"No."

It was a weird relationship for sure, but Soojin stayed silent. It wasn't her place to question it.

"I know I didn't have the moment to say that back in the cemetery" Soojin started. "But… I'm sorry for your loss" She added.

Shuhua's hands held the steering wheel tighter and Soojin noticed that, yet her face remained neutral as always, back in high school she thought Shuhua was a great actress but it was nothing compared to the one in front of her, her expression was the same, her cold eyes still focused on the streets as if she didn't hear her at all.

"Thank You" The taiwanesse muttered. "It's going to be fine"

Soojin shakes her head.

That was just another lie.

x--------------------×-------------------x

"...So now I have been living with Soojin and Hui" Soyeon explained, as they walked side by side after leaving Minnie and Miyeon's house for a late night walk at the park; Yuqi had a lollipop between her lips as she talked.

"So, was Soojin telling the truth? There is nothing going on between her and Hui?"

"She wouldn't lie about that, She has no reasons to," Soyeon replied, trying not to be irritated by the question. "But tell me, how was it? You and Shuhua left for Taiwan but somehow ended up in China."

"We finished our studies in Taiwan, it was very new for me. Like going to South Korea for the first time but I didn't have to worry about the language barrier" The younger explained, taking the lollipop from her mouth. "We lived with her family back then" Soyeon saw Yuqi smile, she knew the other had always liked the Yeh as if they were her own parents.

"and then…?"

"Then Shuhua decided to study Law, like her father," Yuqi said, surprising the other. "She's officially a lawyer like him."

"I had no idea, what about you?"

"I tried out for TV." Yuqi said. "Uncle and Aunt were very supportive of my decision."

Soyeon nods. "That was good to know."

There was a sense of relief knowing Yuqi had support from her loved ones before they eventually left this world, a sense of closure in a way. 

"After that we went to China and Shuhua decided to become an actress" She continued. "It was… difficult back then but she managed, She grew in the industry faster than I thought she would." 

Soyeon nodded, taking in the words and new information, she didn't know much about their lives, when Minnie tried to update she told her that she didn't wanted to know, the less she knew about Yuqi, the better; It would be easy to forget and move on this way. 

"Soyeon" Yuqi started, stopping mid walk and the other did the same, looking at her in confusion while the chinese woman looked down and then back to her eyes again. "I'm sorry." 

The words were sudden but Soyeon knew this was coming sooner or later, yet she didn't reply. She couldn't, how could she? if she was to accept Yuqi's apology she should be sincere and saying she forgives her would be a lie, because she didn't. Not yet at least and the other seemed to realize that because she kept going.

"You don't have to accept my apology, but I want you to know how I feel" Yuqi said and Soyeon could only nod. "My words back in the locker room on that day were true and genuine."

"Yuqi-"

"I was in love with you, deeply and with all my heart" The other said. "I just wish you knew that, I built my love for you bit by bit."

"Love is not a house, Yuqi" Soyeon replied. "You can't build it on top of weak foundations, you lied from the start and all the trust I had for you, from before we even dated, Is gone." Soyeon said.

"I'll earn it back then." The other said, determined and Soyeon closed her eyes as she tried her best to not feel frustrated. "I'm staying longer in South Korea, so we have time to-"

"I'm seeing someone else," Soyeon finally said and Yuqi froze.

Winter was coming to an end, yet Soyeon's words felt like everything around her became colder than before, and Yuqi didn't know how to react or what to say.

"I'm sorry" Is Soyeon who said it this time. "But it is for the best like this." She looked at Yuqi and then looked back before continuing. "I'm going now" It's all she said before walking away, with her back now turned to Yuqi who stood where she was watching her go, and Soyeon felt grateful she couldn't see the way she was tearing up. 

The chinese woman kept on watching as Soyeon walked away, once again wishing and daydreaming on the stop; If only she said the truth right away, things would be different. She couldn't stop herself from getting frustrated. Things should be different and easier but instead someone decided to spill Shuhua's secrets for the whole school with no regards of who was getting hurt. 

Yuqi takes the lollipop away from her lips and throws it into the trash bin before replacing it with the cigarette inside her pocket; She was tired and cold. 

x--------------------×-------------------x

"There. Safe and Sound" Shuhua said as soon as they parked in front of Soojin's apartment; The neighborhood wasn't the fanciest but it looked safe and she could tell Shuhua was analysing that as she looked around to the business nearby and cars parked around. Always an overprotective paranoid. 

"Thank you" Soojin said before opening the door of the car, looking back in confusion once she heard Shuhua opening the door from her side as well. "What are you doing?"

"I'll walk you to your door." The other replied, simply and Soojin had no time to argue before the woman was already at her side, ready to follow her; She hated to admit how her mind thinks back of their teenage years and how the younger was always walking her home and staying in front of her house until she was safely inside. Like her own knight in a shining armor. 

Soojin tells herself to stop thinking about that, it wouldn't make her any good to keep on remembering those moments. 

"Why are you doing this?" Soojin asked once they're in the elevator, Shuhua looked at her. 

"I would do this for any person I care about. Don't overthink." Shuhua reassured, hands in her pockets as her fingers poked the ring inside of one of them. "You became friends before anything." 

Soojin nodded, telling herself to believe her words and believe there were no other intentions behind her actions. 

"Ok...Thank you."

"You're welcome"

The way to her floor was filled with silence again, Shuhua seemed more interested in staring at the floor than keeping conversation so Soojin didn't try to make small talk and soon enough they were out of the elevator, walking towards her door. 

"Well, we're here," Soojin said. "I guess you didn't lose some of your old habits" She said, and Shuhua knew she was referring to all the times she walked Soojin home before.

The Taiwanesse shrugged. "I guess I didn't."

Soojin looked at the door and then back to Shuhua. "Goodnight" 

The younger nodded. "Goodnight" She replied watching as Soojin takes her keys and opens the door and waves at her, which Shuhua did the same, before closing it again after making her way inside; The younger stood by the hallway in silence before she sighs and shakes her head. 

"I guess this is it…" She mumbles to herself before walking away, taking the ring from her pocket and staring at it before putting it back around her finger.

It was for the best. She reminded herself.


End file.
